The Beckett Blog

Updated March 17, 3 p.m. CDT

WINNERS ANNOUNCED! Kyle R., Jeff Clarke and Tim Iwanicki, check your email for instructions to claim your FREE subscription.

The contest is over, but feel free to continue contributing to hobby limericks. We’ll publish some of them in upcoming magazines and blogs.

Below are the winning entries, as judged by our editorial, price guide and sales & marketing staff. You can read ALL of the frustrated poets in the “comments” section at the bottom of this post. A lot of them are really good. Some of them kind of make you go yeah, ok . . .

And to the guy who tried to post about his incident with the girl in the graveyard . . . good God man, you are sick. Get help. – ph

Kyle R. Says:
March 14, 2008 at 7:01 pm e

Those Peterson prices are spiking,
which you’d think would be much to my liking,
but looking again
I have found with chagrin
that my card’s of the Bear — not the Viking

Jeff Clarke Says:
March 17, 2008 at 10:28 am e

So I pull what I think’s a great card
Of a guy who hits the ball hard
I wanted to check it
So I looked in the Beckett
@*&$, he’s an unlisted star.

Tim Iwanicki Says:
March 15, 2008 at 10:10 am e His rookie cards were so hot
So all of my money they got
Then he juiced like a horse
I’ve got buyers remorse
And now my investment is not!

 ____________________ Posted March 14, 2008 

In a momentary lapse of reason a few months ago, a couple of Beckett staffers and some message board guys decided we would write hobby limericks and poetry. After we were done, we asked ourselves: Now what? So in honor of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on Monday, here’s our offering. See if you can do better and win a $30 subscription. THREE WINNERS will be picked. ________________There once was a man named Raffy
Who wagged his finger at Congress like Lassie
He stuck a needle in is #%@
and now it’s a gas
that all his collectibles values are crappy
– Kevin Haake, Beckett VP of beat poetry

Mysterious ’63 high-series SP
Why-oh-why do you continue to elude me?!?
Without you, my set remains incomplete
Bed-ridden and obese I too, remain off my feet
VG won’t do!!!! Trifling and commonplace . . . to suffice, only graded mint-9
Sweet teat, bosom of the hobby. . . eventually you’ll be mine

– Grant Sandground, Beckett Poet Laureate

His cards just went higher and higher;
Turns out he’s a juicer and liar.
Where should this guy rank?
Please do not pass Hank!
Barry Bonds why don’t you retire?

–Anthony (the Khalil Greene collector) 

The card that I pulled punched a hole in me,
I started to poop uncontrollably
My body did shake
It felt really great
Then HBO said that my card was a fake

– Soup

_______________

OK, can anyone do any better? I’ve got a free subscription to the Beckett magazine of your choice for the best effort. We’ll pick a THREE WINNERS on St. Patrick’s Day, and publish the entries in a future issue of Beckett Monthly. Let ‘er rip.