The Beckett Blog

I originally posted this as a comment to yesterday’s AP story that I posted about the kid who was banned from pitching for his team because he was “too good.”  The comment was entirely too long, so I deleted it and made a post out of it.

Sorry to drag yesterday into today–I am not boiling like I was when I originally heard about this mess, but still I think it’s important for all sports fans and parents to avoid this.

Now that this ex-comment is a post, I can put pictures in!  I hope this will make more sense as you read on…

The slide

–EVERYTHING BELOW IS THE ORIGINAL COMMENT I MADE ON YESTERDAY’S STORY

I wrote this a while back, mostly to remind myself about this kind of mindset and how dangerous it is.

I guess some background would be in order so it will make sense.
My daughter is Reagan, she’ll be 3 on Valentine’s Day.
She got this indoor playhouse thing with a slide on it last Christmas.  She climbs on it like a mountain goat.  She literally will be standing on top of it’s walls, that are maybe 5″ wide–freaks me out.
“Luca” is her word for ointment…long story…

——————–

I am going to let Reagan fall sometimes.

I already let her climb on her slide and sometimes it scares the crap out of me.

The thing is, if she never got that slide, she would never have this opportunity to learn some simple and basic facts of life.

I know that if I keep rushing over to her and taking her down when she starts climbing (thinking I am justified because I am protecting her) she will never learn how to climb.

If I yell at her, or punish her for climbing (thinking I am doing a good thing because she MIGHT fall) then she will learn that there must be something wrong with her for even wanting to climb.

If I keep rushing over and catching her every time she is about to fall, then she will never learn that falling hurts.  She will never learn that there are painful consequences to not climbing correctly.  She will start thinking she can just climb any old way she pleases and she will become reckless.

If I warn her to be careful, and then I act smug or superior after she falls, or have this “I told you so” attitude to her when she cries, or I point at other kids when they fall off a slide (at a playground or something) then she will only learn to associate climbing with displeasing Daddy somehow.

If I take the slide away from her, and just avoid the climbing issue totally, then she will go nuts the next time she sees a slide, and I might not be there.

The single most important thing I can do is just be there after she falls.

If she fell and is not hurt, we can laugh about it and make jokes.  I can teach her to look at herself in the mirror and like what she sees, even if she isn’t a perfect climber.

If she fell and is not hurt, but is making a scene, I can teach her that that is not the right way to behave.  Using emotions for attention is unhealthy, and it distracts both of us from the obvious truth…she needs to learn how to climb better!

If she fell and is embarrassed, I can run over to her, trip and fall down, and teach her to not be ashamed, and that everyone makes mistakes, even Daddy.

If she fell and scraped her knee, I can put some Luca and a Dora band-aid on it and teach her TRUST.  She will know that I will be there to pick her up if she falls.

If she fell and broke her arm, I could calm her and comfort her and then take her to the hospital, and help her until she was healed, and teach her that I will always do what I can to help her no matter how hard she falls.  She would also learn that not everyone can do everything, and even Daddy cannot fix a broken arm by himself.  This would help to teach her to trust other people, not just Daddy.

If she fell and broke her neck, then I would sue the s*it out of Kangaroo Climber, Inc. and use the money to buy her every toy in the world, and teach her the modern American way to wealth.

Ok, I am kidding there, but I hope that you now can get the point I am trying to make.