The Beckett Blog


To Spite a Homecoming King by tolentinotown

By Andrew Tolentino | Assistant Editor

Tonight’s the night.

Nearly every news source seems to have mentioned LeBron James‘ return to Cleveland in the context of anticipated booing, “traitor” signs and the like. Even NPR’s Morning Edition aired a story about the drama-filled breakup, including soundbites from the unconditionally supportive LeBron James Grandmothers Fanclub.

Despite grandmotherly love, more rabid basketball fans, commentators and Cavs loyalists have created King James, the villain. Tonight, James brings his heat-hot date to Cleveland, making for an awkward homecoming. Considering the tension in tonight’s meeting, viewers can expect (and enjoy) drama on the court, in the stands and beyond. Whether the spectacle is contrived or not, overblown or actually substantial, it sure is entertaining.

Leading up to, during, and even after the game, there will be boos. In a sea of anti-James sentiment, Sprite will be spilled and spite will fill the air. If so compelled by the melodrama, card collectors are equipped with the perfect effigies to defile.

Below are four forms of cardboard defacement that could contribute to the Quicken Loans arena cleanup task tonight.

Degrad(e)ation.

Having trouble breaking open that BGS case? Not sure you want to actually destroy a gem mint LeBron James? With an engraving tool or even a nail, you can give King James a failing grade without damaging your card. Sure, it’s more of a passive-aggressive tactic, but so was “the decision.”

 

Memorabilia Mop.

Oh, the carbonated irony! You just purchased a Cherry 7 Up (because Sprite doesn’t make it), but a LeBron James commercial causes you to throw a fist-shaking fit of rage, spilling red soda on your hardwood floor. Bypass the Bounty and use a high-end memorabilia card for an ultra-absorbent cleanup.

 

Jameside Down.

This particular lambast requires some tape and the right perspective. Be mindful of Miami Heat fans attempting to flip the card LeBronside up.

 

Arts and Crafts on Autographs.

Are your kids fed up with flimsy drawing pads and boring manila paper? Take your child’s  drawing skills to the next level by letting little Picasso express over an already scribbly autograph. 

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